How can you know what is being hidden from you? I suspect my daughters school and TAFE hid things from me, making it virtually impossible to fulfil my responsibilities to her.
I know that no one checked any details with us before offering her emergency accommodation. She was not unsafe with us, and is welcome home.
What I believe was making her miserable was living a psychologically split life she could not reconcile. She is probably a typical combination of ASD, ADHD, depression, anxiety and a lesbian who was bullied every day of her schooling, first for being odd then for being suspected of being a lesbian. She was immersed in Tumblr, and suddenly has friends.
In choosing between reality with devastating loneliness and a fantasy with friends, she chose to be part of a social group that affirmed her. That is an understandable teenage development stage, to seek a group.
What is unforgivable is the fracturing of her from us as the price for that.
Now we know more, we assume she was encouraged to view us as enemies and not to be trusted. Or that to keep her place in her new world she claimed we were enemies so that no one would out her to us. Or both. Either way, people knew and they kept us in the dark.
We were found guilty of something with no knowledge it was happening, no chance to speak, to protect, to preserve, to defend. That tells me they are not interested in recognising how damaging it is to split a child from their family connections, or that they do know and it was part of a deliberate grooming technique to make her even more dependent on them.
This is happening in plain sight, by policy, by safeguarding professionals, it is unconscionable.